FORTITUDE

Menanti-nanti saatnya membuat blog post dengan judul diatas, penginnya dengan isi tulisan yang hebat sekali, karena suatu ketabahan dan ketekunan diperlukan dalam mencapai sesuatu yang hebat.
Tapi rasanya sekaranglah waktu yang tepat untuk menanyakan apakah fortitude sudah mengikuti saya sejak lama? apa saat ini mereka baru datang? atau saya yang harus menjemputnya?
Meninggalkan segalanya yang membuat waktu tidak terasa, yang tidak terasa terbuang percuma. Berhenti melakukan semua, semua yang tidak mendekatkan pada mimpi. mungkin itulah awal fortitude bersedia untuk menemani saya. Sore ini tidak berbeda dari sore-sore sebelumnya. Tetapi sore ini membawa saya dan waktu pada cahaya bukan pada kegelapan.
Tidak bisa dipungkiri dalam segala hal tentu harus dilandaskan dengan kejujuran dan ketulusan. Sore ini kejujuran membawa luka buat saya, dengan catatan untuk jangka pendek, tetapi membawa senyuman dan undangan peningkatan diri untuk jangka panjang. Sebuah ketulusan membuat saya lemah sore ini dengan catatan untuk jangka pendek dan mungkin saya masih belum benar-benar tulus sepenuhnya, tetapi saya tidak perlu khawatir karena akan semakin kuat bersamaan dengan semua yang bergerak bersama waktu.

sore ini akan menjadi saksi akan datangnya fortitude, cukup fortitude sajalah yang menjadi teman saya untuk waktu kedepan. Karena saya akan pasti mengambil gambar dalam momen-momen yang hebat, karena saya akan pasti dicintai oleh diri ini, karena saya akan pasti mengucapkan doa yang tulus kepada sang pencipta, karena saya akan pasti membuat orang disekitar dan orang-orang yang saya sayangi bangga, karena saya akan pasti menjalani hari dengan senyum paling indah dan menjadi orang paling semangat, dan karena saya akan pasti menjadi orang yang paling optimis dan berprasangka baik dalam hidup ini. Pada akhirnya saya akan pasti menjadi orang terakhir yang berdiri pada diri ini.

terima kasih
Samastama 
photo by me

ALLAH, RAISE ME UP

I'm too much thinking everything hasn't happened yet

I have Monopathophobia that bother me very much

I hate being insecure and lack of confidence

like I've done everything I've done some methods to find a way out, but none of them worked
but I believe in Allah and everything is possible with Allah

I trust everything to Allah, please Allah tell me what to do and show me the way out in the near future

images source: tumblr

APPEASEMENT

these words below were written by Alanda Kariza and I just repost it here. I'm currently having so many problems. I actually can't even call it problem, I call it rescuer sent by Allah to fix anything that I fucked up instead.
so be grateful to Allah who puts any good reason behind your problem.

The Power of Problems

February 4, 2012 by Alanda Kariza |

Reading time: 2 – 4 minutes

Have you ever had a problem that keeps coming back to your life? I think we all have. At the beginning, I did not know why a problem should happen over and over again in someone’s life, but now I start to understand.

On the early weeks of 2012, I had been conversing a lot with a very dear friend. We met back in early 2009 when we started Indonesian Youth Conference together remotely as he is studying in Australia. We have gone through a lot of things during the short span of friendship. We frequently argue on tiny to big things and sometimes end up not talking to each other for awhile. Nevertheless, we stay friends until now, and we discuss a heap of things, especially about life, love, and most of all: the problems and lessons in both of them.

 

image source: weheartit.com

He taught me a very fascinating concept of “learning our lessons”, which I think should be shared. He told me, that whenever we are unable to solve a problem that comes in our lives and take the lessons we should learn out of it, the problem will keep coming back. Not to mention, when it comes back, the “size” would be much bigger than before. The problem will keep coming back because it forces us to learn the lessons it brings. For example, if we fail a course and did not learn the lesson on why we failed the course in school, someday we might fail on another course, big time. 

Sometimes some of us decide to run from a problem, instead of solving it. But, would not it make things even worse? I can not imagine having the same problem coming into my life twice, let alone a bigger one. Most of the time, we can run but we cannot hide – because problems come to our lives to be solved. Problems come to our lives to teach us a lesson. They might be our “teachers”. Yet, what’s the point of attending a course if we do not learn from it? The difference it, this “course” comes in our lives voluntarily yet it must be attended and completed well, unless we would like to retake the course over and over again in the future (which would not be pretty, really).

I have problems in my life. I am sure most of you too. The question is: are we ready to learn the lessons? Even better off, are we ready to share the lessons learned? :)

If you do not mind, kindly share your “lessons learned” from the problems you faced. It must be a hard time for us when it happened, but I am sure as now we look back, everything seems make sense and necessary. Everything will be beautiful in the right time and the right place, indeed. Have a lovely weekend!

WHAT IS LIGHT? WHERE IS LAUGHTER?

For the anon who asked “why do you love that band so much anyway” - well. They are just four lovely guys who work very hard for everything, which is something not all bands do and just for this I already respect them a lot. They are not mainstream, or well, at least not over here. I don’t think you’d ever hear Twin Atlantic in a top 40 or so. But, like I said, that’s how it goes over here. They have their own sound and the lyrics are really good, they all mean something (to me). The thing I probably like the most is the fact that they’re not doing this for the money/fame but for themselves, because they love to write and play music and they appreciate everyone who takes the time to listen to them and buy their merch and hang out with them after shows and they always take time for everyone even if they’re tired or whatever. They even hang out with you in the rain if they have to - there are lots of other artists who say they’re tired and hide in their tourbus. Which is obviously their own choice and it’s quite obvious, but then again, if a band takes the time to hang out with you before/afterwards then that’s just brilliant. Every bandmember has something special and unique and they’re just so down to earth and lovely and I hope that they’ll continue making music for .. well. A long time because it’s just so wonderful and everyone should at least give them a chance. I could go on for ages but I’m not in the mood so this is it for now.

Source: wondersleepshere 


however I like Sam puts a Scotland flag sticker on his guitar

	Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. – Mark Twain
photo by tumblr

I'M CURIOUS ABOUT HOW BIG THE BRUSH IS

                                        However long the night, the dawn will break
                                                                        -african proverb- 

photo by me

A SONG I HOPE I'LL NEVER SING IT

I just found a scottish band from Glasgow 'Twin Atlantic' and I love their music.
so the lyrics below is just one of their songs entitled 'Time for you to stand up'
not relate to anything, today is the day of when my schedule lecture out and I have afraid of the lecturer who'll be teach me in next semester, no one I know, and got place which I've never been there. so let we see, I think next semester is going to be a great semester.

You say you want distance from me,
Well don’t stand so close,
Cos there’s no where else that you’d rather be,
Surrender Render to the facts that don’t relate,
I’ve seen the light and it guides me to the change change.

I did it all so you could be,
Away away away,
Away from me
I need you to,
Believe believe believe,
Believe in me

You’re like a car when there’s ice on the road,
Yeah out of control you suffocate me,
So that I had no hope,
And then some,
Then some, I only laugh when I think of your face,
I’ve seen the light and it guides me through change.

I don’t think I was talking to you
I don’t think I don’t think I don’t
I don’t think I was talking to you,
I don’t think I don’t think I don’t think.

if you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day so I never have to live without you

A.A Milne

pic by me

SMOLDER

I may have failed to go into the best junior high school, I may have failed to go into the best senior high school, and I may even have failed to go into the best university. but I don't regret them all, this time I have to go into the place which they think arduous to get there.

pic by tumblr
                                            

AFTERGLOW

I wanna thank Allah in everything I've been through. let me see, I can't even blog this if Allah didn't with me before. Allah never leave me, although I've hurted Allah so much, I broke the promise I made to him. I did something bad, and often hurted someone else. but Allah never left me.

I think I'm better best at everything than good at anything

RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME

I was thinking about to give up and leave it behind, just because I feel like there's something better.
then I realize whether it's all I need or something I just want. I'm blinded by something I don't know well yet, lack of confidence, I shouldn't be like that.
I haven't even tried MY BEST!

so I'm reassembling the conviction, I say to myself I won't reach it if I don't have a firm belief.
I just need hope a miracle every night before I sleep, and believe it happen when I open my eyes in the morning. nothing is Impossible, I just need show to Allah that I really want it so bad, I really need Allah to make it happen. all of my efforts will be nothing without Allah. I need Allah help and leave the rest to Allah.

                          

      photos by me
 

FACING THE GIANTS

Wow gw ga tau harus gimana, tapi gw harus nulis ini.
barusan gw habis nonton 'Facing the giants'. Gw udah tau film ini dari lama, tapi sepertinya baru tadi waktu yang tepat yang di kasih Allah untuk gw tonton film ini.
ini adalah salah satu film terbaik yang pernah gw tonton.
film ini mengisahkan tentang salah satu pelatih tim football Amerika yang punya banyak masalah dalam hidupnya, dan merasa semua hal jelek ada di dia. Timnya selalu kalah, dia ga bisa memberikan kehidupan yg layak terhadap istrinya, mobilnya sudah tua dan selalu rusak, dia tidak bisa memberikan keturunan ke istrinya.
dia koreksi terus dirinya, hingga dia menemukan titik terendah dalam hidupnya, titik dimana semuanya bisa diserahin kepada Allah, waktu disaat ketika Allah memberikan keajaiban dan mengangkat derajatnya.
dan ketika dia benar-benar meminta kepada Allah sebuah jalan, Allah benar-benar menunjukkan jalannya.
ternyata dia belum mengerjakan yang terbaik darinya selama ini, dari saat itu dia berangkat dengan bersyukur terus sama Allah baik waktu menang maupun waktu kalah.
dia mengerjakan seluruh pekerjaannya dengan 'HATI', dia sadar Allah selalu ada.
dan ternyata dari khotbah solat jumat tadi, gw juga dapat pelajaran bahwa tunjukkan pada Allah bahwa kita benar-benar beriman kepadanya.
balik lagi ke pelatih tadi, sampai akhirnya semua masalah yang dia punya terselesaikan ketika dia ada di sisi Allah Swt.
untuk lengkapnya, dan ga seru kalau gw ceritain semua disini, lebih baik lo tonton filmnya.

mulai sekarang gw berjanji untuk melakukan semuanya dengan 'hati' dan 'yang terbaik' dari apa yang bisa gw lakukan, sampai benar-benar gw ga bisa melakukan apa-apa lagi, karena apa? karena Allah yang akan membantu gw melalui sesuatu yang disebut keajaiban. ingat percaya kepadanya sepenuhnya, karena nothing is impossible dengan Allah. di saat kita sudah pantas menerima apa yang kita minta, Allah akan memberinya.

pokoknya harus nonton, ini film terbaik yang pernah gw tonton.